Coconut Carrot Morning Muffins! (No nuts and Paleo?!!)

This week I celebrated Margarita Tuesday by baking muffins. I know. Muffins are not typical dinner fare nor do they pair particularly well with tequila, but it's my weekly party, and I will make muffins if I want to!

In truth, my husband and I have been exploring the meaning of "in sickness and in health" quite a bit lately, passing various colds back and forth between us like a hot potato. Being sick tends to test my appetite, but even a sore throat and congestion don't diminish the appeal of these moist, spice-cake like muffins.

This Tuesday dawned grey, damp, and cool, bringing in a sudden desire to go apple picking, pie baking, and leaf raking. The weather this week seemed to confirm what the farmers at the market have been predicting: an early fall and a heavy winter. I'm not a fan of winter, but I love fall, and since my husband was taking his turn with the sniffles, I decided to make him these delicious muffins.

Here's my issue with paleo baked goods: they all rely on almond flour. Don't get me wrong, I adore the flavor of almond flour- sweet and moist and very ideal for baking- but too many almonds can give me a stomach ache, and I like to have an alternative for my friends who are nut free. So, voila! I give you these nut-free muffins. They are inspired by carrot cake but of course are protein packed and won't send your blood sugars racing. I swear they are so good, even your grain loving buddies will be on board. A couple of these and a coconut-milk late (see recipe below) and you will be in heaven!

Coconut Carrot Morning Muffins: Makes 12 Muffins
-3/4 Cup coconut flour
-1 Tbsp ground cinnamon
-2 tsp baking soda
-1/2  tsp salt
-2 cups finely grated carrots (about 4)
-1 large apple (peeled, cored and grated)
-1 1/4 Cup unsweetened shredded coconut
-1/2 Cup raisins
-1/2 Cup sunflower seeds (you can substitute chopped pecans or walnuts as well)
-4 large eggs
-2 Tbsp honey
-1/2 Cup coconut oil (liquid form is easiest)
-1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Preheat oven to 350F and line a standard muffin tin with muffin liners.
2. In a large bowl, sift together coconut flour, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon to make a consistent mixture. Add in carrots, raisins, apple, and sunflower seeds.
3. In an other, smaller bowl, whisk together the eggs, oil, vanilla, and honey. Add this to the coconut mixture and stir to combine thorouly. Make sure that there are no dry clumps of coconut flour.
4. Divide evenly into the 12 muffin liners and bake for 35-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the muffins comes out clean and the muffins are nicely golden on top.
** like all good spice cakes, these muffins are even better the next day.

Coconut Latte: Serves 1
-Two shots of espresso
-1/4 cup coconut milk (I use a delicious bpa and gum free brand from Thailand)
-Hot water to top off
-Ground cinnamon

1. Put the coconut milk in a little bowl and whisk rigorously for one minute (if you have a milk frothier you can use that instead) to make the milk nice and frothy.
2. Meanwhile, make your espresso. If you don't have an espresso maker, good quality regular coffee works just as nicely.
3. Combine, espresso, hot water, and milk. Finish with a few dashes of cinnamon and BOOM, paleo Starbucks from the comfort of your own home!

A Dish to End The World On

We live in cryptic times. Every day I run headlong into a new tale of total human destruction: financial crisis and terrorist attacks threaten our economic stability; global warming, pollution, and the vanishing of the bees clearly signify the final reckoning; and current authors from Suzanne Collins to JK Rowling profess the darkness of our era.

I recently read a book, called The Age of Miracles, that was highly reviewed on NPR. It is supposedly a new coming of age novel that is so well acclaimed that movie contracts are already being negotiated. However, 269 pages of the Earth's dysfunctional planetary rotations coupled with ensuing famine and cancer causing solar radiation left me, well, jarred, and, quite frankly, depressed. Not even a week later, I saw a preview for a new blockbuster; you know the one: the comedy with Steve Carell, Keira Knightley, and the asteroid imminently hurtling towards Earth.

Suffice it to say, I find myself wondering these days about the end of the world. And I realize I cannot be alone. People have been worrying about the apocalypse for thousands of years. Think of Nostradamus and Revelations; think of Noah and Sodom and Gomorrah; think of Dr. Strangelove and How I Learned to Love the Bomb! For whatever reason,  apocalyptic anxiety seems to be biologically ingrained into humanity, so much so that it has transcended cultures, times, and places to become one of the few recurrent motifs of our species. Like love and war, Armageddon is a universal truth of humanity.

And then I had to ask, what would you do if it really was the end of the world? One of my friends said she would sleep; the other said she would spend all her money, although she is not sure on what exactly; another said she would simply hold her baby, gazing at her until the very last moment. And strangely, I honestly think that I would be doing this: making dinner, uncorking a bottle of wine and
sitting down, candle light flickering and music softly playing, with my husband- just like we do every night.

Now of course, if it were the end of the world, I would have to make something quick and delicious (no time for slow and laborious meals when aliens are invading the planet), and of course it would have to include the most satisfying combination of foods: bacon and steak (more to come on my obsession with bacon later). So here it is, the dish to end the world on: bacon wrapped skirt steak (a.k.a killer comfort food). Feel free to write in and let me know what your doom's day agenda would entail!

Bacon Wrapped Skirt Steak: Serves 2
-1/2 pound of skirt steak (I buy this in a long strip from the farmer's market)
-2 slices of thick cut bacon (I also buy this at the farmer's market)
-Olive Oil for searing (about 1 TBP)
-1 TBP coconut aminos (or gluten free soy sauce)
-Salt and Pepper

1. Preheat oven to 450F.
2. Wash skirt steak and pat dry. Cut in half length wise so that you have two long strips of skirt steak. Roll each strip into a spiral. Wrap each spiral in a slice of bacon and secure with a tooth pick. Season both sides with salt and pepper and drizzle coconut aminos over. Let marinate at room temperature for 10-15 minutes.
3. Heat olive oil in an oven proof skillet until shimmering. Sear steaks for two minutes on each side.
4. Bake in the oven (right in the skillet; no need to move it to another dish) for 9 minutes. Allow steaks to rest for 1-2 minutes and serve along with some yummy veg. You will not believe how buttery and flavorful this dish is!

Paleo Paprikas (A.K.A. YUM)

When I was a little girl, my Hungarian grandfather used to sit me on his knee and sing in his characteristically off-key alto "Amber-Rose; Amber -Rose," and with each syllable he'd bounce me up and down to emphasize his adoration. And I adored him.

Grandpa Ernie died when I was in the third grade. Since I was so young, I really only remember snippets: his gray hair slicked smooth with gel in an endearing comb-over that barely concealed his bald spot; standing on top of his feet and twirling around the living room to Frank Sinatra like a real lady from a by-gone era; Grandpa calling the trash the "rubbish bin;" and the fact that he drank cranberry juice cocktail all day and "CC" whiskey and club soda on the rocks all night.

Looking back I realize I have forgotten a lot too: how he smelled, or what he ate for breakfast. And I feel as though he's missed a lot as well: conversations too mature for seven-year-olds to have; that first drink shared together as adult people; a dance at my wedding. But all this aside, I will never forget "Wiener Paprikas."

As legend goes, my grandpa loved this dish so much that he swore up and down that one day he would open his own restaurant. I can still picture him now, a big bellied Hungarian man in a vintage cotton burger joint cap and a stained apron slicing onions inside a food truck. When you break it down, Wiener Paprikas is little more than some diced up hot dogs simmer in tomato soup with a lot of paprika and onions all a top a huge scoop of mashed potatoes. But trust me, there's a reason why Grandpa was convinced he could make a living off of it.

Of course, the typical ingredients really don't work in my Paleolithic diet, but I am not about to let that stop me from enjoying a family staple. So this ones for you Grandpa!

Wiener Paprikas: Serves 2-3
-5 Hot Dogs (all natural grass fed is best) sliced
-2 tomatoes blanched, peeled, and diced
-1/2 can of tomato paste (organic)
-1 large white onion sliced
-Paprika (Hungarian sweet and hot)
-1 tsp each oregano, thyme, marjoram
-Olive Oil
-Miced parsley for garnish

1. Sauté onion in about 2 tbs of olive in a large fry pan until translucent.
2. Add enough sweet paprika so that the entire contents of the pan is covered and red (about 1 TBS). Add 1-2 dashes of hot paprika or to taste
3. Add to tomatoes, tomato paste, and herbs. Cover and simmer for 8-10 minutes or until the tomatoes break down and the sauce thickens.
4. Add hot dog slices and simmer until cooked through.
5. Serve over mashed cauliflower and garnish with parsley.

Mashed Cauliflower:
-1 head of cauliflower broken into small florets
-1/4-1/3 C. Home-made chicken stock
-1/2 tsp pepper
-Salt to taste

1. Boil/steam cauliflower in chicken stock for 20 minutes or until very tender.
2. Drain cauliflower but reserve the left over stock.
3. Put cauliflower in VitaMix or other blender and blend until smooth, adding liquid as needed to get the right consistency.
4. Add salt and pepper.

The P-E-R-F-E-C-T Margarita

As recipes go, there is nothing more simple, or more satisfying, than the perfect margarita. Possibly its the additional steps-delicately rimming the glass with salt, squeezing the lime down to the pulp, or measuring out those shots of liquid amber magic- that elevate this drink way above the normal glass of wine. Or maybe its just the awesome way the word mar-ga-rita! rolls around in your mouth. Whatever it is, margaritas have become an art, a delicacy, and of course the crowning prize to Tuesday night's celebration. 

Now, as with every artistic work, the temperance of the piece is keenly important. I hate to narrow down the perfect margarita to a precise receipt when the margarita is truly so much more than tequila, lime, and salt. Margaritas are the fiesta in a glass, the thrill of ice tinkling off a sparkling rim, and the delicate romance between sweet and salty. Every margarita is slightly different- a little heavier on the tequila one night, a little lighter on the ice the next- but every margarita magically balances the mood of the night, lending those scarce evening moments just the right touch of pucker, spritz, and smooth to make things, well, perfect. At the end of the night, the margarita, at least in this household, always welcomes in the same reprieve: a few hours simply spent in love, and joy, and relaxation.

And so folks, here it is: the recipe for the perfect margarita. Adjust it as you will for your own Tuesday (or whenever) celebration.

Serves: 1
-1 lime
-Salt for the rim
- 100% de Agave Tequila
-Sparkling water
-Liquid Stevia 8-12 drops
-Ice cubes 4-6

1. Slice the lime in two and rub one half around the rim of your glass to make it slightly wet. Dunk your glass in salt for a nicely coated rim.
2. Squeeze the whole lime into your glass (pulp is great but seeds are not a winner).
3. Add ice.
4. Add 1-2 shots of tequila (subbing in a shot of grand mariner or elderflower liqueur for one of the shots is also delicious).
5. Add stevia to taste
6  Top with sparkling water, stir and serve.

One or two of these bad boys and you will be in heaven.